Friday, September 7, 2012

Love is... what?!?!

So lately I've been experiencing some major... "issues" in my marriage.  Lots of arguing and crying (on my part).  I'm really tempted to say "it's NOT me! If you only knew..." but it really doesn't matter does it?  As a Christian wife/mom/woman, it shouldn't matter how my husband treats me or how he reacts to situations.  My joy is supposed to be there regardless (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). My love is supposed to evident in all I do (1 John 3:18). And in any circumstance, I'm supposed to be content (Phillipians 4:11-13).

But let me tell you, some people are easier to love and be content around than others!  But that ALSO doesn't matter!!  The Bible doesn't say to love those who are easy to love! It says to love your enemies AND PRAY for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44).  Not that I'm saying my husband is my enemy - God gave me my husband, he is certainly NOT my enemy.  But at times, especially lately, we are at odds with each other and I do feel a bit persecuted.

Sometimes during these times of great conflict, I'll lock myself in my room and dream of these movies where the man loves the woman so much he would do anything for her. Or at the very least bring her flowers after work!  That's real love isn't it?  Well, maybe.  But my Bible suggests love is a little more than just rose petals (though they are nice).

Love is patient or long-suffering.

Love is kind.

Love is not easily angered.

So far it doesn't seem like I love my God-given husband at all!  And the list keeps going:

Love does not envy.

Love isn't proud.

Love keeps no records of past wrongs.

Dig. Dig. Dig!  I've failed at every point. 

So what's a sinful, failing, angry wife to do?

Sometimes when I get so frustrated I will text my best sister/girlfriend and get all my anger out on her and tell her everything I feel.  Down to the ugliest little detail.  And her response to me is always this:

"Get down on your knees and pray! Pray for your husband."

Pray for the man I just revealed to you did all this to me?!


So yes, I get down on my knees and I pour out my heart to the Lord and I pray for my heart and I pray for my husband and by the end of it, a feeling of peace comes over me. And sweet conviction to turn to the Lord as soon as I get these feelings. As soon as I start to feel persecuted, turn to the Lord in prayer and remember what love really is.  The Lord has reminded me of the many times He has been long-suffering with me.  Now I need to bless someone else with that same kind of love, regardless of the situation.

So now I commit myself to memorizing the Love Chapter.  1 Corinthians 13. I'm horrible at memorization, but I can do all things in Christ!

Please pray for me as I start my endeavor today!

In Christ,

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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Great First Day of School!

Today was the official first day of school.  The kids were excited and they all had a good day.  I'm glad things are starting out well.  I was able to get a lot done at home today while Sammy slept, so that was good too.

Praising God.

In Christ,

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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

First Day of School & Already Worries!

My children's school always posts which teacher has which students before the school year starts.  This year Marissa was put in the same class as the little girl who was found guilty, and subsequently suspended from school for a day, of bullying her.  I'm not quite sure why they were put in the same class, but it already has Marissa worried.

I called the principal and told him my concerns.  He didn't seem so concerned himself and actually seemed rather annoyed that I was calling him and asking him to move Marissa to another class.  He said he didn't think it could be done because the school system already has her in there (which I don't buy for a second. I'm a stay at home mom now, but not too long ago my career was in systems analysis. I know you can move a child from one class to another, it's totally possible), but that he would see what he can do.

I'm calling him today to see what he has done.  If he moves her GREAT! If not, part of me wants to fight back and let him know this is unacceptable.  But another part of me wants to show that God is greater than any situation and let my daughter take this as a way to show grace and mercy and love to this girl.  But then I think about the girl and she's just SUCH a trouble maker and so is her family!  But my God is greater.  And that's exactly the back and forth I go through in my head!

So I'm praying that God will show me the way and that I would have peace that comes with knowing God is in control of this situation and Marissa is right where He wants her to be.

In Christ,

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