Love is... what?!?!

So lately I've been experiencing some major... "issues" in my marriage.  Lots of arguing and crying (on my part).  I'm really tempted to say "it's NOT me! If you only knew..." but it really doesn't matter does it?  As a Christian wife/mom/woman, it shouldn't matter how my husband treats me or how he reacts to situations.  My joy is supposed to be there regardless (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). My love is supposed to evident in all I do (1 John 3:18). And in any circumstance, I'm supposed to be content (Phillipians 4:11-13).

But let me tell you, some people are easier to love and be content around than others!  But that ALSO doesn't matter!!  The Bible doesn't say to love those who are easy to love! It says to love your enemies AND PRAY for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44).  Not that I'm saying my husband is my enemy - God gave me my husband, he is certainly NOT my enemy.  But at times, especially lately, we are at odds with each other and I do feel a bit persecuted.

Sometimes during these times of great conflict, I'll lock myself in my room and dream of these movies where the man loves the woman so much he would do anything for her. Or at the very least bring her flowers after work!  That's real love isn't it?  Well, maybe.  But my Bible suggests love is a little more than just rose petals (though they are nice).


Love is patient or long-suffering.

Love is kind.

Love is not easily angered.

So far it doesn't seem like I love my God-given husband at all!  And the list keeps going:

Love does not envy.

Love isn't proud.

Love keeps no records of past wrongs.

Dig. Dig. Dig!  I've failed at every point. 

So what's a sinful, failing, angry wife to do?

Sometimes when I get so frustrated I will text my best sister/girlfriend and get all my anger out on her and tell her everything I feel.  Down to the ugliest little detail.  And her response to me is always this:

"Get down on your knees and pray! Pray for your husband."

Pray for the man I just revealed to you did all this to me?!

"Pray!!"

So yes, I get down on my knees and I pour out my heart to the Lord and I pray for my heart and I pray for my husband and by the end of it, a feeling of peace comes over me. And sweet conviction to turn to the Lord as soon as I get these feelings. As soon as I start to feel persecuted, turn to the Lord in prayer and remember what love really is.  The Lord has reminded me of the many times He has been long-suffering with me.  Now I need to bless someone else with that same kind of love, regardless of the situation.

So now I commit myself to memorizing the Love Chapter.  1 Corinthians 13. I'm horrible at memorization, but I can do all things in Christ!

Please pray for me as I start my endeavor today!

In Christ,

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